Is It Psychological?

What is it about the first day of knowing that you're pregnant that makes you so damn tired? I mean, really I'm not doing anything differently than I have been for the last few weeks. Is it just knowing that my body is busy making more blood and dividing cells or whatever? I'm dragging. But yet I can't shut my mind off and I'm thinking where are we going to put this baby? There is no room for it in this house. We have to have a garage sale! We have to consolidate our crap! Should I try to have the 22 month old (when the new baby's born) in a toddler bed by then, or should we buy another crib? I've been up in the attic rearranging boxes and listing books on paperback swap and putting things out for the goodwill.

Come to think of it, maybe that's why I'm tired. Maybe it's not the baby's fault as much as all my frenzied activity.

And what's the point of keeping the pregnancy a secret? Yes, we've had miscarriages in the past, but I don't want to wait until 12 weeks to tell. And if by some chance we don't make it there, I want there to have been a celebratory period instead of people having to find we used to be pregnant but lost it all at once.

I've told my mom, my dad, my sister, my mother in law, my daughter's best friend's mother, and mentioned it in several comments on other blogs, in addition to venting it all here.

He has told nobody. He thinks I've only told my mom and sister. Heh.

I HAVE TO TELL PEOPLE

Okay, Constance, your advice in the comments totally worked- put him in charge of the condoms and sit back and wait for my baby to arrive. I TOLD him I was fertile. Multiple times, to the point where he was saying things like, "Why are you having so many issues lately? I don't want to hear about what your cervix is doing anymore." I TOLD HIM. And then after he totally blew off the condom idea and it's too late, he says he didn't want any more children. Oh well, it's coming, and he'll get used to the idea, but I hate the fact that I don't get to be completely happy because I feel guilty. WHY do I feel guilty? I did not knock myself up.

He was thinking of changing jobs and now is worried about insurance, and I'm afraid he's going to resent me and/or the baby forever because he feels trapped. But what the hell? We're not sixteen and unmarried- this is kid #3 and we know how it happens, and I TOLD HIM it was going to.

WOO HOO! I'm having a baby! He doesn't want me to tell anybody yet, because he's in total denial, but I can tell you all because you don't know who I am. I love the internet.