Quit eating your trail mix and dropping it on the floor while you watch tv. I know you don't think it's a big deal and you don't get why I'm a shrew about it.
Remember my friend whose daughter has the life-threatening nut allergy?
Remember my cousin's son who ASPIRATED a peanut into his LUNG!?
Yes, I will continue to nag at you every single damn time I find a nut on the floor. And if I have to fish another one out of the baby's mouth I'm seriously going to think about kicking your ass, even if you ARE my father!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Too Much Information
But that's what these Constance blogs are all about, right?
So my husband thinks it's great fun to make me answer the phone if it rings while we're... busy, shall we say. He likes doing things to me and see if I can keep an even tone in my voice while I talk to whoever happened to call. And this weekend my mom was on the other end of the line. Telling me she forgot something when she was over earlier and would it be okay if she came to get it. She laughed and said something about wanting to make sure we weren't in the living room with no pants on before she came in.
well, we aren't in the living room, but... um.... when are you coming over? Oh, you're standing on my front porch? Great, um, we're taking a nap, but okay, come in.
I've been married 12 years and produced two grandchildren for the woman, so she knows I'm likely having sex on a regular basis. There's a big difference though between knowing it's happening, and knowing it's happening *right now* six feet away from the hall you're walking down. I don't know why it embarrassed me but it still did. And yet it was kind of a turn-on in a weird way too. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by that since both our kids were conceived when we had overnight company.
So my husband thinks it's great fun to make me answer the phone if it rings while we're... busy, shall we say. He likes doing things to me and see if I can keep an even tone in my voice while I talk to whoever happened to call. And this weekend my mom was on the other end of the line. Telling me she forgot something when she was over earlier and would it be okay if she came to get it. She laughed and said something about wanting to make sure we weren't in the living room with no pants on before she came in.
well, we aren't in the living room, but... um.... when are you coming over? Oh, you're standing on my front porch? Great, um, we're taking a nap, but okay, come in.
I've been married 12 years and produced two grandchildren for the woman, so she knows I'm likely having sex on a regular basis. There's a big difference though between knowing it's happening, and knowing it's happening *right now* six feet away from the hall you're walking down. I don't know why it embarrassed me but it still did. And yet it was kind of a turn-on in a weird way too. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by that since both our kids were conceived when we had overnight company.
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